Outdoor armor fights the elements

In the Men’s Health Fall 2007 Guide to Style, editors named 21 principles that can help men be stylish without just blindly following trends. The fifteenth principle was “Choose Your Outdoor Armor Wisely,” and the editors recommended a Jockey Stretch Waffle crewneck and long john thermals.

Men’s Health, established in 1986, helps men manage their physical, mental and emotional lives. Topics covered include fitness and grooming, health, food, drink and nutrition, sex and relationships, fashion, sports and leisure activities, world news, culture and humanities, parenting and technology. Circulation: 1.8 million.

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New Jockey.com features coming soon

After examining the results of a recent user survey, the Jockey.com team is revamping the Web site to make it more user-friendly. According to Tim McCue, one of the first tasks is “sanding off the bumps in check out.”

Tim compared specialized check outs to an “off-ramp from the highway of check out.” Specialized check outs include things such as paying for a purchase with both a credit card and a gift card or shipping items to more than one address. These types of checkouts will be incorporated into the new design so that they are easy and convenient for customers who choose to use them, but do not create confusion for the majority of guests who do not.

Another added feature will be customer reviews alongside products. Including both “star” and written ratings, this user-generated content will draw more interest to the site. It also increases search engine optimization, which means the Jockey.com site will appear more frequently and higher up on search listings.

In addition, Jockey will soon be directly selling products on Amazon.com. In general, Jockey will also be increasing the assortment of items available through Amazon, in order to compete with other clothing merchants on the site.

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Mc

I said,
I want to go to McDonald's Hamburger University
to get my McMasters degree,
but I stole that line
from a friend of mine
who had been drinking

No more drunken rambling for me

No, I look above me into rafters
where wind wafts through webs
and spiders cling to splinters
threatening to drop onto our heads
and crawl down our shirts
prickle-tickle-wiggle-like

and we gaze out to lights
across a lake named Fred
where Ronald drowned
after eating one too many
McDonald McNuggets

and well, McSomething.

I'd(entity): I Am Me

I am not black
but I have seen shades of brown
and nothing is darker than
a cloudy night under a new moon.

I am not international
but my words jumble in my mouth
landing haphazardly on paper
where they make more sense.

I am not a man
but I can grow a shadow moustache
and I dream about peeing
while standing in the stall.

I am not old
but when my wrinkles come in
smile lines will give me
a natural facelift.

I am not rich
but I like the security
of a five dollar bill riding in my wallet
for food if I get hungry.

I am not Christian
but I love my neighbors
and worship at an altar
covered in sacred candles.

I am not straight
but I still hate closets
and I am ready

to start
standing naked
in front of you,
no longer struggling with layers
of what I am not
and start revealing
what I am

I am white
and while my ancestors oppressed yours
that doesn't mean I need to continue
that tradition.

I am an American
living in a land of contradictions;
diverse but divided, we stand
with guns in our hands.

I am a woman
and my menstual cycle
is not a period to erase
but a moontime to embrace.

I am young,
full of potential disaster
but brimming with revolution
so thick it clots like blood.

I am middle class
in a land of rich and poor,
where the rich eat poor children
and I can pick up or put down my fork.

I am Wiccan
or you might call me "witch,"
I find the God-ess in nature
but I will never cast a spell on you.

I am bi,
loving all humanity, regardless
of gender or genetalia, focusing
on inner rather than outer reality.

And all of these classifications mean nothing.
All you really need to know is
I am me.

And I will continue being me -
no matter what you think.

Introduction

Here lies poetry. Included on this blog are the daily writings of chaos poette (a.k.a. Kaitlyn M. Ulmer). Postings coming soon...